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Dear Cum - Ms Comma

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So that's what hate mail looks like. Another one to tick off my bucket list. To be honest I'm fairly certain that many of the kind suggestions I've received are physical impossibilities and I probably ought to clarify that I don't live in a zoo. Additionally I have checked with Mum regarding the accusation that I am the bastard offspring of Eva Braun and Lucretia Borgia and she assures me

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