I woke up alone in a strange bed to the sound of a hairdryer. As I stirred, Red ordered, "Get up, old man! I'm taking you out for breakfast before my shift!" "Is there coffee in this house?" "Yes. What would you like in yours?" "A good amount of cream. I like my coffee like my women, hot and white." "Well, it's a good thing I'm both then, isn't it?" I whipped off the covers, stood up,
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