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Strawberries and Old Cream

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"Speed it up, old man!"   The spiral staircase ahead of me was pissing me off for a couple of reasons. First, it was narrow and long, and I was getting dizzy climbing it. Second, I didn't know how many flights of stairs it actually constituted, being a spiral. The pamphlet from the hospital said I could resume sexual activity when I could walk up two flights of stairs comfortably.  

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