Simon did come early, in fact, he arrived at seven o'clock, just as mum and I were getting interested in each other after a night of celibacy. "Go and let him in Michael," mum giggled. "and don't be so grumpy." "For God's sake, mum," I protested as she slipped on a housecoat. "I've got the granddaddy of all erections here." "Well keep it warm and don't forget your car keys as well,"
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